Zapada

ma plimb prin zapada
cu fatza rosie de frig
si mainile inghetate
abia imi mai simt picioarele
si ninge si ninge si ninge
si nu se mai opreste
si nu vine mosul
nici colindatorii
sunt doar frigul si zapada
care scartzaie sub picioare

Mi-e dor de blog

Nici nu am mai apucat sa scriu pe blog, naveta e foarte obositoare. Am prins un post la doua scoli din Sinaia si Poiana Tapului si ma vantur pana acolo in fiecare zi. Gasca o vad din an in paste. Poate reusesc sa scriu in vacanta, sa termin povestea cu vampiri. Mi-e dor de blog.:)

Vampire story - part 14 - The visit

I accompanied Gerald during the time he visited his parents. I promised him he would see them so we went there. At first they were scared because they heard about his accident, but when they sow him alive, sound and save they came to their senses. He was white and cold but of course this was because of his skin operation. The accident was pretty bad.
They would probably realize much further that their son would remain young and they would grow old, but we still got time by then. For now the operation was the perfect lie.
The dinner was pleasant, in the end I let Gerald alone with them and went to visit Richard. Richard and Gerald lived in the same town, they were almost neighbours.
"Oh Jullie, Gerald greeted me, come in, come in. To what miracle do I own the pleasure?"
"To the miracle that Gerald is back in town," I said "He came by to see his folks"
"That old bastard is out of the hospital?" Gerald ask
"Yes he is, sound and save"
"Well, finally some good news , though the jerk could not come by and say Hy, couldn't he?
"He'll come by Rich, I let him talk alone with his parents, but he'll pick me up in a few moments"
"Well I long to see his dirty face" Richard laugh
"Actually it's quite white" I said
"Indeed, you might think he is dead... but he is not" I continued
"How white?" asked Rich
"White like ... mine"
"Oh, well than it's good, you're not dead, you're pretty much alive"
I could contradict him, but it would have been a stupid thing, I wondered if Richard sensed anything strange when he was beside me. If he could feel that I was cold, or if there was something to disturb him, but he did not seemed disturbed.
I sat down on the couch and turned the TV set on.
"Hum Rich?"
"Yes"
"Don't you feel anything wired when I'm around? I mean don't you feel a little uncomfortable?"
"Uncomfortable? With you around? You must be joking right?"
I sighted. I did not know if I was glad or sad. Glad because at least he didn't notice anything wired, sad because I could not tell him the truth. He could not realize by himself either.
Richard went into the kitchen to prepare something for me. One more problem, I had to explain him that I was not supposed to eat anything.
The door ranged and Ger showed up.
"Hey Rich"
"Gerald, old bastard. You finally dear to show up." They embraced each other laughing, but Richard started to trumble."Gee, you're damn cold"
"Well I lost some blood, must be because of that"
"You're damn right you lost something, your head" Richard cried "Please sit down, can I get you anything? Juice, bear?"
"No thanks, we're in a rush"
I was glad Gerald said that, I could not manage to find myself an excuse for not eating
"No bear? How hard did you hit your head bro?" asked Rich
"Hard enough to hit yours if you piss me off" it was Gerald style to say aloud what he wanted.
"Ok, ok, no need to be aggressive"
"So, where's Michelle" I asked, weren't you supposed to be together?
"She's with my mom. They're up to something, I don't know what"
"If I"m not mistaken Rich I think you're birthday is coming up this month, am I right?"
"Yea, Juls, you're right. They must be going shopping on something, less chat on my head"
We all laughed. I let the boys play a little on the PlayStation to remember good old times, Richard drinking bear after bear, Gerald a little stiff.
When Michelle and her mother in low returned we raised. We were about to leave.
"Leaving so soon?" Rich cried
"Come on guys, I just got here" Michelle said "you could stay for tonight"
Not a good ideea.
"It's late Michelle" Gerald said "we have to get to Jullie's parents in time"
My parents were the best excuse, they always wanted me to be home before midnight, of course Michelle and Richard did not know that I haven't seen my parent for a few months, and I was not willing to see them.
"Well ok, but I thought she leaved with Sasha now?"
"Yes, but I want to see my family too. They go to bed early"
"Well, ok. Though you could go there tomorrow"
Finally we left. We were both exausted, but managed to recover flying back to Sasha, who was talking to the older vampire. They were trying to find the dimension were the all seeing guy was and bring him into ours.

Lumina, zapada sau luna?

... zapada scartie sub talpi, si lumineaza in noapte, aerul e rece, foarte rece cu gust de fier, e frig, foarte frig, sus, deasupra suiera cetina, un sunet care nu poate fi uitat niciodata, si luna- luna este undeva in dreapta , nu se vede dar poti banui ca este acolo, pentru ca deasupra ta licareste Carul Mic, si urci, continui sa urci, gambele dor, rucsacul taie umerii, dar acolo sus este cald, si traiesti o senzatie nemaipomenita cand deschizi usa cabanei, si dai de caldura cu aroma de rasina arsa, si descoperi ca ai obraji reci, cand iti duci mainile la fata si dai jos caciula din cap si apoi dezbraci haina... miroase a ceai cu rom, inca iti vuiesc urechile, apoi te integrezi in decor, instinctiv alegi bancutza cea mai apropiata de soba care dogoreste, langa gramada de lemne pe care iti sprijini bocancii, gata, am ajuns, e cald si bine-si te mai intrebi inca: lumina zapada sau luna?
Si acolo in cabana e bine, mai sunt si altii refugiati de frig. Un baiat dragut, brunet it intinde o cana cu ceai ca sa te incalzesti. Si il accepti. Si dupa ce il bei te simti mai bine, si baiatul pare o companie placuta, la fel si prietenii care canta la chitara si spun glume si totul e vis...

Vampire story - part 13 - Gerald's lie

Gerald was being sorry. He did not wanted to hurt me, yet he did. It did not bothered me the fact that had an affair with Laureen. It was not my business. What bothered me was that he had killed a girl, an innocent person. I promised myself I'll never kill anyone, drink blood but not kill. And he did. I could not forgive him so easily.
He tried to talk to me, but I was too disappointed. So, he had to find himself something to do while he waited in my room for Sasha to arrange his.
Gerald went to my computer, while I leaned crying on my window and he turned the computer on. He was upset too. He entered the internet and looked for our friends. Richard was connected, anxious to hear news from Gerald, Roxanne too.
"Hi Richard, it's me Gerald"
"You son of a bitch" Richard screamed "You've got a lot of nerve to show up like that. I suppose you haven't heard that the telephone was invented, I wonder how did you manage to enter the chat?"
"Rich listened, I wasn't well, I ..."
"You're damn sure you were not well. What was in your head to go to that race? You thought you'll conquer America or what? I've got news for you pall: this is Romania, stick that to your head Romania"
"Richard I..."
"Two weeks without a word? Do you have any idea of how worried I was? Or your friends, or your family? You really got nerve mister. If it wasn't for Sasha we would have really gone mad"
"Sasha?" asked Gerald and then I heard him speaking aloud:"I should have known Sasha told them something about me, hey Jullie save your tears for later, come here, please"
"What now?" I asked
"Since you're show in Bulgaria is all a big lie to cover the fact that your a vampire, I demand to know what lies have you told to our friends about me?"
"Gerald I didn't lie"
"Come on Jullie, what did you tell them then? Come on I don't mind, I just wanna know the story so that I would not make any mistake."
"I don't lie Gerald, I haven't told them anything yet, just that you are in the hospital and that you can't receive any visitors, you'll tell your own story"
"All right then remember this: I had a motor accident, I was in a hospital, still am in a hospital, Sasha brought me a laptop, I have to be operated soon. Ok?"
"It's your own choice Ger, whatever you tell them, it's your choice"
"It's my choice but you'll have to remember it to cover me up"
"Why don't you cover yourself up?"
"Come on Jullie, you're not gonna hate me forever, one day you'll have to accept it. I killed a girl, this doesn't mean anything"
"And when you'll kill one of your friends what will it mean?"
"I'm not gonna hurt them, I'm telling you this, I love them just as much as you do, I could not make them any harm"
"I don't trust you, talk to them on the internet, or on the phone, but stay away from my friends"
"Your friends? They are my friends too Jullie"
"Stay away from them it's a warning."
"I'm not going to argue to you anymore. I'll show you I'll take care of them just as you have"
"Hey Richard, look man, you don't have to be angry with me" Gerald tasted on the computer "I'm still in the hospital and I can't move to well, I'll have to be operated soon"
"I hope they'll chick your ass fine, you asshole" Richard was really angry, actually I knew it I talked to him. The others were worried too, none of them approved Gerald's race. They all said he had no brain when he decided to take part in it.
"I really thought it was a good idea, besides I was angry on Richard" he told me now
"And now you really worried him, are you satisfied? Why do you always have to question everything and become mad so quickly, if you had patience and waited for me and Sasha to explain to you, that girl would have lived"
"I'm sorry Jullie, how many times do I have to appologize to believe me?"
"You'll have to show us we can trust you, one mistake Gerald and you're on your own"
"There won't be any mistakes, I'm really sorry Jullie" he came to me and embraced me again. I tried to believe him this time. After all he come back to save me and Sasha.
"Stop shouting like mad people, I found them. I found the old vampire and the all seeing guy" Sasha burst happily into the room making it getting brigther all of a sudden."We can be saved, now I'm sure of it" Sasha's eyes were full of tears.
"How did you do it Sash" I asked
"Well I followed Gerald's instrunctions, I found the old vampire and he will find the other very soon. We still have hope, we have hope." Now all three of us were happy.

Vampires

Vampire story - part 12 - The library

Gerald and I were floating through the mansion. I showed him all the rooms: the big kitchen, the enormous living room, the stairs, the first and the second floor.

"This is Sasha's house" I said

"It's big, it's beautiful" said Gerald

"Yes, isn't it?"

"What's this?" asked Ger pointing to a wooden door

"This? Aaa the library"

"The library? Well let's see what does Sasha reed?"

"It's not such a good idea"

"Why not?"

"I tried once to enter but Sasha doesn't like strangers in her library, she says she has her medical books there and that she doesn't want anyone to change their order."

"We'll just have a look, come on, maybe she has something about vampires, like who we are, who created us"

"There are myths if you are interested, Ger"

"I am"

"Why do you bother so much, I mean we are vampires and that's it right, we're immortals, that's cool, it should be enough for you"

"I want to know who created us, where we come from, who we are"

"You're not gonna find that in books, books are written by men. You need myths, I've told you"

"Myths are many and we don't know who created them, but a book, an author, an idea, it's something else"

"I doubt you'll find something in Sasha's medical library"

"That's exactly why I want to look there"

The two entered the big room, to see three rows of shelves full of books going from the floor to the ceiling. The books looked very old, ancient, rare, expensive.

"Wow, Sasha really has fortune in here Jules. Look at all this books. They are so old they must make a fortune now"

"Sasha has the books from the time she was human" I explained

"I can see these books are older than the world herself, look Jullie papyruses"

"Wow, I never saw one before"

"There are all medical treatises all right, some old literature and look black magic?"

"It makes no sense, vampires doesn't need spells, they can have whatever they want" I said

"Yes, but still black magic books?"

"Actually there are all kind of books: white magic, grey magic, green magic, red magic, black magic, astrology, divination" said Sasha in a loud voice. "There's also a dimension tracker here somewhere."

"Sash we just" I tried to explain

"Why do you need this kind of books?" Gerald asked

"Because I'm a witch"

"A what?" I was amazed.

"My grandmother was a gypsy, she had gifts, she could foretell the future exactly, she could also cure people, from her I have my talents, I can see the future and I can practice medicine, as you I have tried for many years to explain who we are, where we come from, how we got our gifts, but I had no luck. You see Jullie, when I saw you lying in the street that day, hit by the car I saw you becoming a vampire. I knew. That's why I chose you. And I have also seen Gerald becoming one of us, and I have seen things about him he didn't said. Like that innocent girl you killed"now, Sasha was looking deep into Gerald's eyes

Gerald felt ashemed

"You killed?" I frowned "Innocent blood?"

"I didn't know, I didn't wanted she forced me Sasha, you say you saw it all explain that to Jullie" Gerald seemed wild

"You were trapped by her" said Sasha

I looked at him with tears in my eyes. He killed an innocent for a woman, for a vampire.

"But it was all for the best, now you know your gift don't you?"

"Yes, I know"

"You have a gift?" I asked him

"All the vampires have one, Jullie, you have one too, we'll just have to wait and see what it is"

Sasha said to me

"I know you already told me, but I've shown no particular gift by now"

"No problem, it will come out eventually"

"Now tell her your gift Ger" Sasha encouraged

"I can read someone's mind. That's how I knew what Laureen was thinking, that she was going to come here and kill you. You have to believe me Jullie, it was not my fault"

"You shouldn't have left in the first place. You should have listened to me and to Sasha" I screamed and I left the room slamming the door behind me

"Why? Why did you tell her? I could tell her about my gift, you should not tell her about the girl" Gerald cried

"She has to know the truth and I have to know it too, are you able to resist without human blood Gerald, like we do? Are you able to be one of us before I'll tell you all my secrets, or you'll betray us like you did before?"

"I told you, you can trust me. You should have talked to me alone, Sasha"

"Next time mind your own business, and don't put your nose into someone else's business. That's a warning, don't come to my library again if we mess things up here, I'll never find the guy that sees all dimensions"
"You think he is here? in this library?" Ger asked
"In one dimension lost out there"" Sasha answered
"Than use your dimension tracker and just find the guy to turn us back into what we were, better than vampires anyway." Ger screemed and left her and the library running after me, he caught me up in my room, now our room. It was not such a pleasant idea anymore.

Suddenly sharing my room with an innocent blood drinker was not such appealing to me.

"Jullie please listen to me" he asked

"I don't want you in my room. Talk to Sasha to give you another and you can also take your gift and do something with it" and I sat furiously on the bed.

Vampire story - part 11 - The coming back

He had to run. Slowly he tried to float out of the mansion, but Geon was already in front of the doorway.

"Leaving so soon?" he asked smiling

"I have to hunt" Gerald lied  "I'm hungry..."

"Let's go together" said Geon

"No, thank you, I need to walk by myself"

"You're not going anywhere alone, you're a new born, it's dangerous" Geon insisted

"I'm going by myself" Gerald said firmly

"You'll go with me or you'll die" Geon announced him , catching Gerald's throat. Gerald struggled. One blow and then another, like in a boxing match. For a moment Gerald was hurting Geon, in another moment Geon was leading, until he made a mistake. He came to close to the wall, so Gerald stroke him, then slapped him so hard that he was on the floor. With a sharp knife Gerald cut his head and then took his body in the living room and set it on fire.

One vampire was dead. There were other two more vampires to kill. He looked for Laureen and Marius but they had already left. He had to fly to Sasha, find Sasha and Jullie and save them, so that he could save all of his friends.

Back to Sasha's mansion I was talking to Roxanne on the phone, when suddenly I heard a noise downstairs

"I know I tried to see him but I couldn't..."

"It's weird Jullie, It's not like him to disappear like that" Roxanne said

"He did not disappeared, Roxanne, he had a motor accident for Christ's sake, he's in the hospital"

"And he can't call? You said he's better now"

"He's not allowed, you know ... the rules, why don't you call him or visit him?"

"You didn't tell me where the hospital is remember? And I tried to call but he doesn't answer. He's parents doesn't know anything about him, I called them too."

"I'll try to talk to Sasha again, but I can't promise you anything, you know Sasha doesn't like her patients to be disturbed while they are in convalescence."

"Yes I know, we could not talk to you either..."

"Then you have to be patient, I'll try to see how Gerald is doing"

"Roxanne, wait I'll call you later, I think I hear some noises downstairs, it must be Sasha, goodbye" and I put my mobile phone away.

I floated downstairs just in time to see Marius and Laureen caring Sasha in by force.

"Let me go" Sasha cried

"So, you are the vampire's creator" the woman said

"I am what?" Sasha cried again

"You created two new born vampires" Laureen said

"I have no ideea what you're talking about"

"Don't lie bitch, I know it's you, Kill her Marius, let's get over it" Laureen shouted

"No" I screamed.

I threw myself on Laureen and tried to beat her. The next moment Gerald entered the room and started to fight Marius.

Sasha managing to free herself helped me to fight Laureen and together we could overcome her. Gerald trapped Marius. The two were taken in the backyard and set on fire.

I catched Gerald arms while looking at the flames and cried:"Oh, Gerald"

"I'm sorry Jullie" Gerald said, holding my hand, he was warm now, like I was. to the humans we would seem rather cold. "I didn't mean it, I was just too angry, I could not see."

"Who were they?" asked Sasha looking at the flames too

"Vampires" Gerald answer

"I can see that, what did they wanted?"

"You two" Gerald said embracing me "Änd to tell a guy named Victor about you"
"That's the leader of the west clan" Sasha explained to him, so at least now we had some evidence. He told her everything he knew.

"Us?" I asked "But why? we did no harm to them..."
"Sasha created you and you created me, Jullie. That's a sin. Old vampires don't accept the young ones, they steal their food and theritory."

"I did not meant to harm anyone, neither Sasha, she just saved me, and I saved you and I want to take all my friends into eternity with me, that's all"

"I know, now I know it, but to them this was a crime and you two had to be killed. Oh Jullie, this thing must stop, we will not create other vampires anymore. Not without giving them the possibility to know what awaits them. It's terrible to wake up in thirst, see your body dying, feel empty, feel that you're not human anymore, kill and drink blood. It's terrible. I hated it, I still do, no one should live like this..."

"I'm sorry Gerald, I did not want to hurt you, I thought you'll like it like I do, I feel great being like this. I drink blood but I don't kill humans. And the powers are great: the force, the speed, the immortality, every wound heals, every part of me is beautiful now, I can do what I want. I thought you'll like it"

"These things I like them too now. But the price is too high, I don't want to transform the others withought giving them the possibility to choose"

"We cannot say what we are Gerald" Sasha said, "remember our code"

"We shall not speak" Gerald said "They will discover it by themselves"

"How?" I asked?

"Leave this on me"

"So this means that you're back?" I asked, my face turning into happiness

"Back? He has to ask me first, if I want him here" Sasha said trying to predend she didn't like the ideea.
"I'll have to think about it" she smiled

"Oh, Sasha can he stay?" I cried " Say you let him stay, say it Sash! He will appologize. Appologize Ger" i cried turning to him 

"I'm sorry Sasha, it was my mistake, I promise it won't happen again. I promise I'll stay here and protect you and Jullie" appologized Gerald

"Come on Sash, he means it, I know he does, I know him"

"Well all right" said Sasha smiling "He can stay, after all who am I to say no to you or to a such nice young fellow" Sasha said flirting "See he does not make me anymore trouble, or he's out"

"No, Sasha, I'll take care of him", I promissed

"Oh, Sasha"

"Humm?"

"Where will he stay?" I asked

"That's not a problem Jullie really, I won't stay here too much, I'll go to my parents or find a place of my own"

"You are a vampire now Gerald, you'll have to stay here, you won't risk putting your family in danger. You can see them but not leave with them. You don't know when you'll get hungry and you can't keep the blood in their fridge can you? How will you explain that to them? Of course you can lie for a short time saying you'll need it, you lost blood but you can't lie them forever. Trust me, the best for you is to stay here where I can watch over you" sasha said

"You're right Sash, I did not think of that, I'll have to stay here, but I'll have to visit my family somehow"

"You can go whenever you like, but you'll have to come back, meanwhile you can share the same room with Jullie, until I'll arange one for you, if she doesn't mind"

"Mind? I don't mind. Come Ger I'll show you the house"
"Oh I forgot, they were looking for an old vampire called Guy, I think I know where he is, I read it in Laureen's mind, they were going to kill him, does it ring a bell Sasha?" Gerald remembered
Sasha's face got suddenly illuminated with hope:"Yes, Oh yes, he's my old dear friend, if we find him, he is a clairvoyant better than I am, he can find the one who sees in all dimensions and we can find a solution"
"Then let's find him Sash!" This was our next job, to find the old vampire.

My vampire story - part 10 - The 3 vampires

The new created vampire run, and run for days, hiding in the forest, hunting his pray. With every man or creature that he killed he was going crazy, devastated by his won nature, hating himself for what he was, until he met them.
They were 3, tall, blond, long hair, beautiful. They looked at him for a moment and understood what he was.
At first he thought they would haunt him and took a defensive position, but the blond girl approached him silently, proud and beautiful bewitching him.
"My name is Laureen" she said. "I won't hurt you, I know what you are!" She was floating in the air, he could sense her perfume, it was sweet, his senses went wild.
"I'm Gerald" he whispered
"Well" one of the other two vampires said "Nice to meet you Gerald, I'm Geon and this is Marius"
"Vampires" Gerald whispered
"Yes, just like you" Geon said.
Laureen looked deep into Gerald eyes and he sow himself there, in the depth of her soul
"Come with us" Laureen said. Let's hunt together.
So they did. The four of them went hunting. Laureen taught Gerald how to hunt more easily, how to seduce his pray and play with it.
She trained him to seduce a young girl and then suck her blood. Gerald was thrilled. Now he realized he had the power over the other humans. He could do whatever he wanted with them. After all Sasha and Jullie did the same with them, him and their friends. It was in their nature, he discovered to seduce people and fool them.
Then, Laureen and the others took him to the great mansion where they lived for ages, hiding themselves from humans eyes. The living room was a great hall decorated in a modern way.
Gerald went to the computer and entered his messenger address , anxious to know what his friends were doing. He talked for hours, all seemed to know the same thing: that he had a motor accident, Jullie found him and he was operated in Sasha's hospital. At least those two idiots that transformed him had the common sense to do him this small favor so that he could continue his existence among his friends. Smart. They lied again. How much he hated them. They were two liers, two ordinary liers. The hell with them two, he had Laureen now.
Her white hand stopped over his shoulder. He turned to her.
"You are beautiful" she said "Young and strong and wild..."
She smelled his neck.
"And your smell is so amazing."
"Ok. Laureen stop" Gerald said "I know what you're doing but your friends..."
"Nevermind them, they have their own affairs to deal with, I'm dealing with you" and by saying that Laureen kissed him. He answered her kiss and from here a great romance started.
"What have you done, you bitch?" were the first words that Gerald heard when he woke up. It was Geon that was shouting.
He went to the door. The voices came from the next room, it looked like an office. "I told you to find out what's with him and who created him, not to sleep with him. Geon slapped Laureen's face.
Gerald felt anger inside of him, but something told him to stop.
"But Geon", Laureen said "you know I can't do it in another way "My gift is to find out everything about a vampire by making sex with him, there's no other way..."
"You could ask him nicely", Marius said.
"You broke the code", Geon said."A team should only be a team"
"But Geon, now I know where he comes from, I know who created him and why. It's another new born vampire" Laureen said
"Another new born vampire?" Marius shouted "My god, how many of them are out there, we have to tell Victor"
"Just this three as far as I know" Laureen said
"Creating a new vampire is a crime punished by death" Marius said. "They must be killed, Victor must know"
"Indeed" Geon said "We must find the other two and kill them"
Kill Sasha and Jullie this was what these vampires wanted. And in the end they would kill him too. In a moment Gerald understood his mistake. And he understood another thing: by making love to Laureen, he could read her mind now. And she was evil. She thought of killing people with a grief and thirst no one could believe. The young girl he killed last night in a frenzy, Laureen was just jealous on her beauty. As for him, Laureen only felt despise. The despise that an older vampire feels for a new born. She knew exactly what he was and trapped him, to kill him. The law of vampire was like this: the older kills the young to survive. If there were more vampires, the old ones could be easily killed. They had to stay just a few in order to survive and Laureen shared the same ideea. The new ones were just bringin trouble, unaware of their gifts and powers they could put in danger the entire race. They had to be extermined. Gerald also saw that she knew where Sasha old vampire was as Laureen was going to kill him too. So he had to stop her. And let Sasha know.After all he also didn't want bad things for his friends. He had to warn about the Victor guy whoever that was...

My vampire story - part 9 - The first one in line

Not a single news from the stranger, or Victor whoever it was, or from Sasha's friends. Days went by undisturbed, just the way they were before. There were no strange crimes at the news that could alert us. Nor strange things to happen. It was like the stranger never existed.
Life went on eventually, Sasha working in the hospital, dedicated to her work there investigating new cures for people, me visiting my friends and looking after them, cos I couldn't be gone for too long. If I did... my heart would be broken into pieces.
The first to be transformed was Gerald although I had always thought it would be George. He was the most predictable. He liked motors. I knew one day he would make something stupid. I was positive sure. He was too desperate, too tempered to resist the temptation. One night when the members of the group were too busy to meet each other, he decided to participate into a motor race with a few of his friends.
Both Michael and Richard told me. They were convinced that nothing good would come out of it, neither did I. They looked for Gerald and tried to convince him to give up, but it was too late, he already left home for the race.
I let them in front of his house and I tracked Gerald down. I followed his smell till I finally found him, in the middle of the road, covered with blood. The motor was over him.
I took him in my arms and took him to Sasha.
"Well, well Sasha said what do we have here?"
"Just a fool who had nothing better to do but to participate in a motor race Sash" I said
Sasha laughed.
"He's a fool alright. But we'll take good care of this fool. You'll have to transform him Julia"
"Can't he be saved?"
"I'm afraid it's too late. He lost too much blood. He wouldn't resist to be taken to the hospital. He will die on his way there. You should have taken him there if you wanted to save him."
"Please Sasha..."
"It's impossible, I'm a doctor, I know, trust me, it's for the better. Even if we'd save him as a human being he wouldn't be able to walk or to move for the rest of his life. Is that what you want for him?"
"No, Sasha"
"Well, do it then."
"But Sasha I don't know..."
"Bite him, leave your venom in his blood and than give him your own blood to drink."
I looked at her. She was like a statue, all white. And then I looked at him. He was dying. I did what Sasha said. Bit him and left my venom in his blood. Then I made a mark on my hand with my fingers and dropped my blood on his mouth.
For a time he stood still. He's body died minute by minute. After a while he started to struggle and scream.
"Sasha!"
"He's dying Jullia, he'll be allright in a couple of days, but for now don't be too scared, look his wounds are healing."
She was right, his wounds were healing. In no time he would be a new born vampire sane and save. He'll be strong and he'll have a gift just like Sasha did.
I called Michael and Richard to give them the bad news. Gerald had a motor accident. He was taken to Sasha's hospital and Sasha took care of him. He could not join them for a while. All my friends were devastated, scared.
"I knew he'll do a stupid thing" Richard said. "I just knew, the moment he told me what he was going to do I knew..."
Michael was desperate too. "How could he do such a foolish thing? Doesn't he know how dangerous these things are? How stupid can you be?" Not to mention George, he wanted to go to the hospital but I had to stop him, cos there was no hospital...though he might have fallen into into Sasha's hands...
Meanwhile Gerald was completely transformed when he opened his eyes for the first time he looked at Sasha and me and cried:
"Jullia, I'm thirsty."
"Drink this" Sasha said giving him a cup of blood
Gerald looked at it amazed. And moved the cup from his face.
"I'm thirsty, I want some water, not this shit."
"This is going to be your water from now on, you stupid fool" Sasha said "Drink!"
"I want some water!" Gerald cried.
He jumped on his legs with a force I have never seen, and flown through the house searching for the kitchen. Sasha and I followed him. He found the water but could not drink it. Sasha started to laugh:
"I told you to drink the blood, you dump head, now do what I say."
Gerald took the cup from Sasha's hands, looked at the blood loathing and drank it.
"What in the world!" he said "What's this? What have I became?"
"You're a vampire now Gerald, and you'd better get use to it." Sasha said.
"A what?" he looked at me as if Sasha were mad. "Julia" he said like I would be the one to save him from the terrible truth and say "no, Sasha is mad". Unfortunately... I couldn't.
"I'm sorry Gerald, it's true, you're a vampire now... just like Sasha and I are...ah" I said
"But you're, you're not a vampire, you're Jullia, my friend, you went to Bulgaria and suffered a skin operation that's why you are so pale and beautiful now and she's your doctor."
"I'm sorry Ger, it's a lie so that I could be close to you and be accepted. I did not wanted to scare you. I'm a vampire. I almost died in a car crash. Sasha found me and changed me. She invented the whole thing up."
"A lie?" he cried "All that was a lie? you are a vampire now? you live with blood and you go out with us like nothing happened. You lied to us all, Jullia."
"Yes, I know, but Gerald. It's not what you think."
"You kill people, you monsters, you suck their blood to feed yourselves and now you made me one of yours..."
He jumped at me and tried to struggle me, but Sasha jumped in his back and stopped him.
"It's not what you think Gerald, we are not evil."
"Evil or not, you are monsters and now I am one of you and I shall never forgive you for that.You should have let me die."
These were his lasts words. And with them he disappeared in the night before we could realize it. I wanted to follow him, but Sasha stopped me:"He's furious now. Let him be, he'll come along eventually."
"Sasha, did you see that? Will he be one of us? Have you seen the future, tell me"
"Patience my darling, sooner or later he will be one of us, but till then a great misfortune awaits him. When he's heart will surrender he will be one of us. It's his fight not yours."

Vampire Lestat

"I am the Vampire Lestat i'm immortal more or less. The light of the sun, the sustained heat of an intense fire-these things might destroy me. But then again, they might not."

— Anne Rice

My Vampire Story part 8 - Sasha's missing friends

There were just the two of us Sasha and I... and there was little we could do. We did not know if the stranger would hunt again or not. I asked Sasha if she knew anyone that could help us. But she was unsure. There was a vampire she befriended 200 years ago while she was hiding, but she had no idea where the vampire was now. We had to track him down and ask for help. And there was also that beeing that she mentioned before. The all seeing guy. One of the two would do...
The danger we were in was great. We could be hunted by a vampire, or we could be hunted by the people that would hunt the vampire. If we were to be discovered in any of the both ways we were in danger. We had to find Sasha's friends.
Sasha tried to make investigations. Meanwhile I stopped to visit my friends too often. We didn't want to expose ourselves too much. I invoked a trip with Sasha to the mountains to get away. In this way I had time to stay with Sasha and help her. But no matter how hard we tried there was no evidence of Sasha's friends. I followed Sasha in Germany where she last saw the vampire, but the friend was gone. Some tracks led us to Italy but the friend flew from there too. The all seeing guy was also somewhere in some dimension. Where could we go? Where could we ask? The clan from the west settled somewhere in Italy and England anywhere but not west. They were after the east clan obviously.. If we stayed any longer we could have been discovered. And Victor was no where to be found. Nor did we have any evidence it was about him, the leader of the clan. Creating a new vampire was a crime punished by death. I was a new born. I was in danger. Sasha for creating me was in danger too. We had to go back...

My Vampire Story part 7 - The stranger

I think that was the only fight I ever had with Sasha. Anyway it ended fast.
My life with Sasha was different from the one I spent as a human being. I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Sasha aloud me to do anything, of course anything that wouldn't put us in danger. I was not allowed to tell my friends what we were, just visit them from time to time, talk on the internet, or on the phone.
Sasha liked parties and having friends. So I joined her to a few parties. No vampires except us , just normal people, her friends from the hospital. She loved her work at the hospital. It was also an easy way to have blood at our discretion. Though Sasha rarely used it. Only when she was too busy with her work to go on a hunt. She was desperate to save as many lives as she could. She knew there were many people out there that needed that blood. She also told me that there was a special being out there who could save them if he wanted to because he could use the wheel of destiny. But usually this man was hard to find. He could travell in all dimensions so naturally he wouldn't stay in ours, so she lost his track long time ago.
One night when we were coming back from one of her parties a strange smell came from the street. Three men were walking around the sidewalk and a big shadow lied behind them. They had no chance to escape. The vampire, whoever he was... stroke in an instance. When we arrived it was too late. They were dead and he flew the moment he sensed us approaching. He was strong and fast. We tried to follow him flying above the city but did not catch him.
"This is not good" Sasha said
"Who is he Sash?" I asked
"I don't know him" I haven't seen a vampire in this places for ages, I don't know...
Who was him? What was he doing here? Were we in danger? If he feeded with the people in the area in a foolish manner we could be in danger. He had to be stopped.
"If he is here, there must be others" Sasha said "We have to find them and see who they are..." Only later did we learn his name was Victor... but until then we had no clue...

An afternoon hot chocolate party

I am extremely calm. Not even angry. I stay in front of my computer and dream with my eyes wide open. Not a single thing can make me go crazy now. A feeling of happiness surrounds me.

I see my friends coming. Play some rummy. Play some music. And hot chocolate. It's warm and cosy.
An afternoon hot chocolate party. That's what it is.

My Vampire Story part 6 - The quarell with Sasha

After I have seen my friends, Sasha and I flew to Sasha's mansion. I did not forget what I said: that I was going to have a fight with Sasha at home.
"Sasha, why did you lie?"
"Huh?"
"Why did you lie? You lied both me and my friends. Why?"
"And how did you suppose you would explain your absence to them?"
"That I have a fight with my parents, a car accident, whatever. It would have been my choice, mine, my own. It would be my lie Sasha, they are my friends not yours. I never lied to them. Do you know how I felt?"
"Jullie, there was no other logical explanation for your transformation. And you know we are forbidden to tell them the truth. And it's not like you'll lie them forever. One day they'll know the truth. And it wouldn't be a lie anymore"
"Yes, one day Sasha, but not now, you crazy liar" as I was screaming I slapped her face. Vampires have a heavy hand.
Sasha slapped me back:"Wake up child, I did it for your good"
"Are you sure you didn't do it to be able be around George?"
We started to fight and hit each other while we were jumping round and round, until I calmed myself down.It served as a training fight.
We actually distroyed the whole room. The furniture was on the floor, some made to pieces, some turned upside down.
"There... is it better?" Sasha asked. "See what you've done? Now clean this mess up"
"Why me it wasn't me the one who choose to lie her new friends"
"Clean it right now, or I'll serve one of your little friends for dinner"
"You woudn't dare"
"Just watch me, by the way I know who my twin soul is..." Sasha was trying to buy me
"Really?Who is he?"
"George, George is my twin soul..."
"How do you know that? You said that only when they are transformed you can tell"
"I saw his past lives. All of them... And we were together"
"It's cool that it's George, he's a nice guy, transform him next" I said
"I''ll see what I'll do, you know the rules, you can transform someone only if he is dying"
"Do all vampires have to respect that?"
"No, but I act this way. I'm not stealing a man's chance to have a human life unless it is necessary."
"Maybe we'll have a chance one day"
"Yeah maybe..."

My Vampire Story part 5 - The lie

I stepped careful into Roxanne's frontyard asking myself if her family would recognize me, if my friends would recognize me too. The beautiful big house was split in two. In the front part of the house  Roxanne's uncles were living in harmony. In the back Roxanne's family. To go to Rox I had to pass her uncles test first.
No one came to greet me so I supposed they either were not at home, either they were in the back. That was good news, at least if i had to invent a good story they will all hear, no need to lie again. Most probably I would forget my excuse in the first place. I was not a good liar, so I wasn't sure what I supposed to lie to explain my absence or my transformation. I knew I was beautiful now and all white, statuesque and a little bit taller. They'll figure it out eventually.
When I got to the back of the house I was surprised to see everyone I knew there: Roxanne, Michael, Gerald, George, Michelle, Richard, Roxanne's parents and uncles, everyone was there. Of course Sasha told me there was the weekly meeting of the members of the group, but I really didn't expect to see them all. Sasha took care of them for me.
My mission as a vampire now was to take care of my friends while they were humans and transform all of them.
They turned their heads to me and smiled. I was shocked. No hard feelings for leaving them? No reproaches?What was going on?
"Jullie, oh Jullie", Michelle said, "It's so good to see you back!" and she jumped in front of me to greet me. "Oh, you're so cold, poor thing, it's probably too cold outside" she said when she embraced me. She smelled so delicious. It was the first time I noticed it. I had to turn my head and take a big breath in before I could answer to her embrace. Vampires could go on without oxygen, but if I stopped breathing I would become a statue and everyone would make the difference, breathing made me look full of life. I wasn't different from the others. Just my body was cold. I looked and acted exactly as a human being. Only that now I was beautifull and I attracted every single person around me, cos vampires always attract their victims. Only that in time their thirst and wild nature calmed and they decided to live among people and use them. I did not use my friends, I just wanted to help and protect them and offer them the one thing that man has always desired for himself:immortality. One way that could make us be together forever. This was the reason for which I accepted Sasha's request of helping her.
"The autumn wind", aunty said
"So, how was the reality show?" Michael asked "I see they changed you quite a lot, you even grew taller a little bit"
I looked at them and I thought for a moment that I got crazy. What in the world had Sasha told them?
"Oh yes, the reality show", I said "they are pretty good huh?"
"Why couldn't we see it?" Michelle asked
"Didn't Jullie say it was only for the bulgarians?" Richard asked
Sasha said I was doing a reality show where? In Bulgaria? I haven't been there in my whole life as a human. Of course there was no problem to go there now. I could go on a hunting, to check up some bears but still... Did Sasha lost her mind? Bulgaria?
"Yes, Richard is right" I said. I had no idea about Bulgaria what so ever,not to mention their reality shows so it was an opportunity to..."
"Guys, she just got here, let her a few minutes to recover herself" Roxanne said
I managed to enter the porch, I had to embrace everybody Roxanne, the boys, Roxanne's relatives and I think they all realized how cold I was. I tried to smile and look happy and content.
My place was there in their arms and hugs, and laughs and smiles.
"So guys, umm how much do you know about my leaving" I asked
I was scared I had to invent things in the next minutes but to my surprise everybody knew the story. One day I told them while we were chatting on the internet that I was supposed to be a part of a reality show. This would help me to become beautiful as I always wanted. And because they knew how much I wanted this they supported me. They said it was so nice to keep them informed, they even talked to the doctor that operated me personally.
"It was really so nice of you to keep us informed, Jullie" Michael said
"Yea, it was amaizing you didn't miss any detail" Richard said. It was actually Sasha pretending to be me on the internet.
"That's why we got a surprise for you" Roxanne's mother said
A surprise? No one said anything about any surprises. I thought I would be the one to surprise them. But they were not at all surprised. They even knew everything about me.
"What surprise?" I asked
"Well, the doctor that you were so found of and took care of you is here" and there she was:Sasha went out of the kitchen, the only place where I didn't managed to go yet...
"My dear", said Sasha coming to greet me"let me look at you. Aren't you beautiful? Is she not"
"Yes, she is" everybody said
"You did a fine job doc" mother said
"Sasha" I whispered embracing her and then whispering " Remember me to fight you when we get home"
"Come, let's join your friends together and tell them the hole story"
I was happy Sasha was there, so she already knew my friends and she could help me explain everything without making the hole thing look weird. One thing I didn't like though was that she talked to them at my back. It was my choice what to tell them and how to act. Not hers.
The talk seemed endless, we said the story thousand and thousand times, again and again until I've become bored. Not missed a single thing, just as Richard said earlier. I had to walk to the garden and take air several times so that their smell wouldn't kill me and force me do something I didn't want to do, but most of the time was ok. Sasha did very good on the other hand. Her long years spent among people were obvious. She had enough experience in dealing with them face to face.
The heroines of the day were Sasha and me, which bothered me a little. But it was all right for a first meeting.
I forgot how fast the time could pass when I was with them. They were pretty much the same persons that were when I disappeared. Didn't change much. After all there has been only two moths. They had a trip on the mountains and a wedding party and that were the only events I missed. I saw the pictures and the films and had fun.
I saw Sasha becoming one of us all the time we spent there. She was just as happy and funny as we were. We..., not the good word. Me, the vampire and our human friends. One day we will all be vampires and be happy I thought to myself.
Richard and Michelle were usually the leaders... they decided when they wanted trips to the mountains or parties, or just hang out. Gerald and George were Richard's best friends. Roxanne was my friend and Michael sometimes Mike was in our group. We were all funny when we met, always saying jokes and doing funny stuff, always having good time together, always trusting each other. That's why it was so easy for them to believe me. One day guys... one day... we will be even happier...

My Vampire Story part 4 - The two dreams

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My head was spinning round and round because of the new information. I was a vampire, I had to transform a hole group into fighting vampires and fight a clan I had no idea about its existence or members. I didn't even know how to fight, not to mention how to change a man into a vampire. Nor what my friends were doing, they were my whole life as a human, but since I've became a vampire I haven't seen them for two moths, plus that I was changed. How would they react? What would they say? Would they be mad at me? Would they recognize me? And the most terrible question that killed my nerves: would I be able to pretend that I was a human? Will I eat them? Will I be able to stay with 6 or 7 persons in the same room and not attack them. Of course I promised not to kill innocent people, but I haven't been close to humans since the day I was created, and now all of a sudden I have to appear in front of them and speak to them, hug them. Will I be ok?

Sasha said this was my test. If could get close to them and take care of them I could be able to do anything, anything I wanted. Get close to people for every little thing. I wanted to know, know how will I manage. Sasha also thought me how to fight so that I would be able to teach them when they will be changed... At least I answered to one question, but the others?...

The reality is that all this was madness. A neverending dream...
A nightmare: I was all alone, human again and Mike now a vampire following me. I screamed in terror "No Mike, no don't bite me, don't hate me" and woke up. What a terrible nightmare. After that when I went back to sleep all of us were friends again and humans and sasha just one of us living an ordinary life... What could it mean?

My Vampire Story part 3- Sasha

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Being a vampire is the best thing ever happened to me. I never liked my life anyway, so I took it naturally, being thrilled by the gifts that I received in a such a short time.I can fly, I can break everything into pieces, I have force, strenght plus all my senses are high: I can hear and see at long distances, and I can feel the smallest rock under my feet.

I think Sasha is nice. At least she seems nice. She is beautiful, the most beautiful person in the world, even for a vampire; she is tall, statuesque, and has long, wavy black hair. She has to learn me everything. From zero. The hunt is nothing compared to the other mysteries she has to share with me. But we have enough time to do it.

"Where are you from Sasha?" I asked

"I am from England" she said.

"How old are you?"

"I am 500 years old"

"Wow, that's a long time"

"It's not, It's really not, there are older vampires."

"Older vampires?"

"Yes, older vampires."

To Sasha eternity was not long enough. She never had enough time for her to do the things she wanted to do. She thought the years were passing too fast for her and for the human kind.

"It's hard you know, it's hard to care about someone and see how fast that person gets old. Only then you realize how fast time flies and your immortal nature. I love people, I have always loved them. You never have enough time to be with the person you want to be. That's why I decided to take some friends into eternity with me"

"I understand Sasha. I see it now""So, what's your story?"

"My story, humm let's see. I was born in England, Somerset. My parents were from the middle class. Nobles at their origins, but they lost their status. Don't ask me why, I don't remember. I was too small to remember it all. My father was a kind man. He loved me. He hated he lost his status and all his life tried to get it back, working and working and working. I was happy there in our old house. We had a few servants left, ready to take care of the house. My mom was wonderful. She loved music. She played the piano everyday. I loved her, I loved my mom.

And I was happy to be me. I was happy to be Sasha, Sasha loved by her parents, by her friends, by her neighbors. Always spoiled. I took everything for granted.

One night when my father was not at home, going out for some business he had, I heard a scream coming from my mother’s room. I went there and a man was holding my mom in his arms, my mom seemed dead. I screamed. He sow me and attacked me and changed me. We, My mother and I both left home that night and followed James. The man who changed us… I had 26 years old, just like you. My mom was 40.

It took me ages to realize what I was. The monster I have become, but when I did I have never been so delighted by my new look and powers. Mom was happy too. Of course she never forgot my father, from time to time she visited him, and she took care of him when he grew old, but she knew we could not go back. She didn't let me go and see him... she thought I was too thirsty and could not resist. She was wrong, I wouldn't have hurt him. When I had the opportunity I started to hunt animals and feed with their blood instead of man's blood. I learned how to leave among them and not hurt them, always saving somebody just to show my mom she was wrong about me."

"This is very sad, what happened to your mother, why is she not with you? And James?"

"My mother died."

I was in a shock. Vampires could die? What kind of world was that?

"But..."
"How could they die? Killed."

"And James?"

"James too."

"Who, why?"

"Enemies, the clan from the west is very powerful. They think they can own the world. James hated them. He stood still and brave over the centuries and fought them but they were stronger. He was killed first. My mom tried to catch his killer but she was killed too. I run, but never gave up hope."

"I am sorry"

"Don't be, you and your friends will help me fight them"

"Me?"
"Yes, you..."

"I thought you changed me because you were alone..."

"Because I was alone and not being able to fight by myself, but you will help me and you will lead me to my twin soul"

"What are you talking about?"

"I am talking about the prophecy."

"What prophecy?"

"A new clan from the east will arise and defeat the one in the west. They are many, powerful, they will bring justice.But most of all, they are all friends and among them there is my twin soul."

I looked at her to see if she was joking. She was not. She was serious.

"But I am not a fighter" I insisted

"You will learn how to fight" she said

"What about your twin soul?"

"Oh, this is something I have forseen, one of your friends is my twin soul"

"You can forsee the future?"

"Yes I do, you see every vampire has he's own secret power. Some can see the future, others can hear the thoughts of the persons around them. Others are strong, others good for hunting or fighting, depends on their background"

"And who will be your twin soul?"

"This is something that it will be revealed after all of you will be changed. I don't know it for now"

"And the prophecy?"

"This is not my opera, this is the opera of one of theirs. Since the prophecy has been made, they kill all the newborn vampires that appear. They are affraid... This is why they haunted James. He changed my mother. They thought he was the one"

"James changed you and your mother. This makes sense. James changed you to build an army?"
"No, James was alone. He was alone for many years. He was a sad man, he was about to get married with a girl he loved when he was changed. He could not fight the vampire who changed him. It was not what he wanted. He changed my mom and I in a frenzy of rage. He was just too lonely, he wanted a wife and a child."

"So he chose you."

"Yes."
"But if they haunted you since the day you were born as a vampire, how did you managed to escape for 500 years?"

"Well, hiding, never leaving tracks behind me."

"I still can't believe what I've heard."
I have heard about twin flames before but never occoured to me it was real. Twin souls are souls that are linked together , they meet from time to time and get married and have their own family but not every life time, they have to develope their spirituality a lot in order to do that. Sasha had a hunch but she was not sure, she wanted a confirmation. Maybe we will find it.
I never thought about my twin though, never thought I even had one. And never really care. Like I was in this alone, why would I need one?

My Vampire Story part 2- The hunt. Sasha teaches me how to hunt

motto:The hunt

I feel like I’m on hunting
I’m chasing the lion that lies deep inside of me
I am afraid of his power
I am afraid of his will

I had my first hunting today. Just as Sasha promised me, she taught me all I had to know. Sasha is a good teacher. She did not force me to kill humans, she started her hunting lessons using animals. Vampires don't need only human blood to survive as we all know. They can survive by killing animals or drinking synthetic blood. But nothing can be compared with a good hunt.

The sounds of wild animals woke us up. And thirst came to our mouths. Sasha showed me how to do it. She hunted the bear and drunk its blood, taking its chi out of it. I have never seen something like this in my whole life. The speed, the force... It was all unreal. Mist swirled around us, making us look ethereal like the ghosts of some Highland warriors. I hunted the second bear and I finally understood the whole meaning of killing. Killing was actually the celebration of life. I killed the bear... God created it and I killed it. Once killed, another would be born. Once the animal was killed, I felt my body warm of its blood. It was totally a new experience. But it could be dangerous out to a point. If I had to kill a human, I should not feel this way.

I sworn to myself I won't kill people. Or if I had to spill someone's blood he wouldn't be an innocent man. Criminals, murderers this would do. I guess...Of course, I was even thinking of not doing this to my friends. No... my friends were special to me. I loved them with all my heart and I would go back to them in a while and live the rest of my life with them, only proctecting them from other vampires, with Sasha. Somehow I had a feeling this was what Sasha wanted. To be one of us. She kept talking about it for days asking me about my friends, about who they were, what they did, especially about George which was a bit confusing cos we have never been that close. He was a friend of Richard's though so I suppose Richard could tell her more about him than I could. There were six of us, plus a few school friends and relatives and Sasha was aiming for our group in particular.

My Vampire Story- The begining

Hi! My name is Jullie and this is my story, my vampire story.

I am a vampire. I have become a creature of both night and day, I got a new breath of life. The power of love, hate and pain went through my body. I felt my body dying and coming to life again.

The name of my creator is Sasha. I am 26 years old and so do all my friends. I had a car accident. I was crossing the street, didn't watch carefully ... and Sasha found me. All that I remember is my blood spilt on the sidewalk and Sasha's teeth.

I laid for days in Sasha's old mansion. When I woke up I felt a terrible thirst. Then...I knew what I was. I had no doubt. Nowadays, vampires are no secret. Everybody knows what they are... What I didn't understand was why me. I looked at Sasha standing in front of me smiling.

"Hello, my dear friend", she said."How's your head doing?"

"My head is fine", I said. "Who are you?"

"My name is Sasha. I am a ..."

"I know what you are, I know what I am, but why? Why me?"

"Why not you? Can't you be my companion for eternity like anyother?No one should be withought friends. I saved you from death to have a friend."

"Death is not what frightens me, eternity is..."

Sasha looked at me smiling: "Eternity is not a long time my darling, one day you'll understand that. Be contempt and proud of what you are and of what you have become, not many people have this chance."

"I am, but I still don't get it. So, what's next?"

"Next... I will teach you all you have to know about being a vampire."
"What's there to teach, everybody knows." I said staring at her, at how beautiful she was.
"Well... they know but they did't live like one"
"Is it hard?"
"It can be overwhelming sometimes"
And no, I didn't care and didn't want to listen. I was too happy. I finally got out of my jail. I would finally have their beauty, strenght and I would be accepted by everyone. Only later it came to me that without my friends no type of living has value in this world, just like Sasha said. She was pretty smart.

Al naibii de funny

Mda, viata e a naibii de funny. Indiferent ce ai spune, indiferent ce ai face nu poti obliga o persoana sa tina la tine. Mi-a trantit pe mess ca citam: fug si eu la somn, dupa X sa ii tin de urat sau sa nu ii fie urat. Dar la mine s-a gandit cineva ca imi e urat? La mine s-a gandit cineva ca uneori ma simt singura si ca ma sufoca singuratatea si durerea? Foarte funny... dar nu o face nimeni. In schimb pt X si Y da, vai saraca e suparata, vai cat sufera. Si eu intreb? Eu nu sufar? Eu nu vars lacrimi? Si cui ii pasa? Cine ma intreaba de ce plangi? Pot sa fac ceva pt tine? Daca nu o cer si o ascund nu inseamna ca nu vreau si eu sa isi faca cineva griji pt mine. Sa fie cineva acolo sa isi faca griji, sa se gandeasca la mine, ca sunt singura, ca ma doare, un cuvant, o vorba, o fapta... Dar cine sa isi dea seama de asta?

Real life

 Nimic nu mai e cum era inainte, cand erai aici... toata lumea mea s-a intors cu susul in jos, s-a schimbat... Intregul vis ce mi-l costruisem s-a destramat in mii de bucati, dizolvandu-se in realitatea cumplita. Mi-am dorit imposibilul... si am platit.

As fi putut renunta, cand inca mai gandeam logic, dar mi-a placut scanteia, visul, un dram de nebunie si gandul ca orice dorinta isi are dreptul ei la materializare. In final totul a fost doar un vis... Mereu e asa, visezi, visezi si nu se intampla nimic.
Viata adevarata nu e ca in filme. Dupa replicile spuse corect el se intoarce sau realizeaza brusc ca ea e iubirea vietii lui. In viata reala nu e vorba de replici spuse corect sau de lucruri facute la timpul potrivit. Totul vine ca o avalansa si dispare in acelasi mod. Poti sa spui fraza corecta, perfecta asta nu schimba nimic. Nu-ti poate aduce inapoi ceea ce destinul nu iti da. Darul cel mai de pret, pe care il ravnesc toti. In viata adevarata esti singur. Sa fi iubit... este ceva ce uneori nu ajungi sa cunosti niciodata. That's how life is. Real life. My life.

Cake

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