I dreamed a dream ... now life has killed the dream i dreamed

[Fantine is left alone, unemployed and destitute]

[FANTINE]

There was a time when men were kind

When their voices were soft

And their words inviting

There was a time when love was blind

And the world was a song

And the song was exciting

There was a time

Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by

When hope was high

And life worth living

I dreamed that love would never die

I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid

And dreams were made and used and wasted

There was no ransom to be paid

No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night

With their voices soft as thunder

As they tear your hope apart

As they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side

He filled my days with endless wonder

He took my childhood in his stride

But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me

That we will live the years together

But there are dreams that cannot be

And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be

So different from this hell I'm living

So different now from what it seemed

Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

M-am indragostit de cantec, de versuri si de modul in care il canta Anne.    Cat adevar,  cat chin, cata durere-"There was a time when men were kind/ When their voices were soft/ And their words inviting/  There was a time when love was blind/ And the world was a song/ And the song was exciting"cine mai e bun azi, cine mai vorbeste frumos si te asculta si are rabdare sa iti explice? nimeni. 

Cine nu a iubit si nu i s-a raspuns cu aceleasi sentimente, cine nu a trait macar odata o experienta de dragoste in care sa iubeasca de unul singur si totusi sa spere si sa spere si sa spere?"I dreamed a dream in time gone by/When hope was high/And life worth living/I dreamed that love would never die/I dreamed that God would be forgiving"

E greu sa iubesti de unul singur, e greu sa lupti de unul singur. M-am indragostit de 2 personaje din les miserables fantine si eponine. Fantine e mama eroina care isi sacrifica viata pentru fiica ei, duce o viata de prostiuata pentru a-i asigura un trai decent. Ea a iubit de una singura si a fost parasita. Eponine e cealalta fata a iubirii, cealalta experienta, femeia tanara, indragostita care moare fara macar sa isi vada vreun vis implinit. in roman moartea ei e stupida. Moare impuscata de un glonte in timp ce ii aducea lui mariu o scrisoare de la cosette. Un gest facut din iubire care-i aduce moartea. In  spectacolul les miserables i se face un pic de dreptate si moartea ei e glorioasa. Se aseaza in fata glontului destinat lui marius. Doua femei, doua destine, ambele prizoniere intr-o situatie fara sfarsit, sentimente fara sfarsit.

Foc

de foc pare cerul

de foc pare pamantul

de foc pari si tu

in amurg

si esti atat de fierbinte

incat nu pot sa te ating

sa sting focul din inima ta

focul tau pentru ea

Nu pot trai fara tine

pot respira fara aer

dar nu pot respira fara tine

pot trai fara apa

dar nu pot trai fara tine

fara glasul si zambetul tau

pot auzi fara urechi

pot simti fara degete, fara maini

dar fara tine nu as putea face nimic

pot trai fara lumina lunii

pot trai fara stalucirea stelelor

fara bataia vantului

fara picaturile de ploaie

fara firele de nisip

fara valurile marii

dar fara tine nu stiu si nu vreau sa traiesc

Hay un lugar

pentru ca il stiu pe de rost si pentru ca pur si simplu nu ai cum sa nu o iubesti pe marianella

Hay un lugar al que me voy

cuando estoy triste

es un lugar dentro de mi

que nunca viste

Me lo invente

para sentir que me quisiste

Es un lugar al que me voy

cuando estoy triste

Y si te vas

tambien me voy

Y si no estas

tampoco estoy

Y nada importa

nada sirve

nada vale

nada queda

Sin tu amor

Un laberinto sin final

donde me pierdo

y corro y corro sin parar

y no te encuentro

Y aunque de vos quiera escapar

siempre me acuerdo

que existe en mi algun lugar

donde te tengo.

Y si te vas

tambien me voy

Y si no estas

tampoco estoy

Y nada importa

nada sirve

nada vale

nada queda

Sin tu amor

El otono

mi-a placut mult acest off al Esperanzei- Casi Angeles sezon 3 ep 15

OFF

-Esperanza-

Parece que llegó el otoño. El otoño… que estación inmunda realmente. Personalmente me deprime muchísimo porque ¿a quien le gusta el otoño? mi madre diría no hay tal crisis pero en este caso amigos creo que la hay. En otoño se marchitan las flores, las horas de luz se acortan, vienen los días fríos.

El otoño llega sigiloso, casi sin avisar, despacha al verano y nos deprime a todos. Por que el otoño es triste. 

El otoño es sinónimo de nostalgia ¿y qué es la nostalgia? el sufrimiento de recordar algo que tuviste, ya no tenés, ni vas a tener. La nostalgia es un viaje al pasado, a la niñez al recuerdo de alguien que ya no está. En otoño los colores empiezan a morir. En otoño la vida se ve detrás de una ventana. En el otoño uno quisiera estar en otro parte. El otoño vuelve todo tan, tan… José Luis Perales. 

El viento, la lluvia, Perales y la nostalgia lo confirman amigos, llegó el otoño. 

Y otro bien meloso para este otoño, “Invierno” de Reik. Algo adelantado, sí, pero bueno, el otoño nos avisa que se viene el invierno.

El otoño no es un videoclip de Montaner, ok? Ni es una propaganda de chocolate, con una pareja feliz, enamorada, que se aman, se besan, ella es mona, él es un bombón, no es así. El otoño es la vejez del año, es el ocaso de los sueños, es una porquería.

El otoño, oh el otoño. Nos invade una angustia inexplicable, estamos como peluquero sin cepillo, perdidos. El otoño llega y va invadiéndonos poco a poco enfriándonos el alma y los sueños. El otoño nos encierra dentro de nuestra casa y dentro de nuestra alma. 

En otoño todo muere, falta tanto para que vuelva a renacer. El otoño es como el bucle, ni lacio ni rulo, es algo indefinido, terminó el calor pero no llegó el frío. El otoño huele a amenaza, es una brisa fría que presagia dolores. El año termina cuando empieza el otoño, es época de balance, y lo primero que uno cuenta es el debe. El otoño desconcierta, el otoño nos pone en aprietos. 

Por algo dicen que la primavera es el nacimiento, el verano la vida, el otoño la agonía y el invierno es la muerte.

Red flowers

Trandafiri - septembrie

Cats

Midnight

Not a sound from the pavement

Has the moon lost her memory?

She is smiling alone

In the lamplight

The withered leaves collect at my feet

And the wind begins to moan



Memory

All alone in the moonlight

I can smile at the old days

I was beautiful then

I remember a time I knew what happiness was

Let the memory live again



Every streetlamp seems to beat

A fatalistic warning

Someone mutters in the streetlamp gutters

And soon it will be morning



Daylight

I must wait for the sunrise

I must think of a new life

And I musn't give in

When the dawn comes

Tonight will be a memory too

And a new day will begin



Burnt out ends of smokey days

The stale, cold smell of morning

The streetlamp dies

Another night is over

Another day is dawning



Touch me

It's so easy to leave me

All alone with the memory

Of my days in the sun

If you touch me

You'll understand what happiness is

Look, a new day has begun

Din lacrimi se naste iubirea- iuliana

din durere, din lacrimi

se naste iubirea

din suferinta

se naste fericirea

si ma rog

"da-i doamne lacrimi

sa simta iubirea

macar o lacrima

macar o clipa

sa planga din iubire"

Miki

Lacul

Pe faţa-i albă ochi-i străluceau

Buzele-i dulci suspine murmurau

Gândul ei curat la el alerga

Şi inima ei pentru el bătea

Pe aleea strâmtă, ce ducea spre parc

Cu grijă păşea, privind în larg

Aştepta iubirea, aştepta un vis

Ce avea s-o poarte-n paradis

Jur împrejur s-aud mii de şoapte

Lacul albastru tremură-n noapte

Salcia plânge, plânge al ei dor

Şi vântul nopţii aduce fiori

Trece o oră, ş-apoi trec două

„De ce nu vine? E lună nouă!

Voi să vină. Vină! Să mă strângi în braţe

Şi sufletul nostru la cer să se înalţe.

Unde eşti iubite? Ce ai făcut?

De ce fugi acum? De ce eşti tăcut?

Pentru ce să frâng toate aceste lacrimi?

Pentru ce durere? Pentru ce patimi?

Oare nu vezi cerul cât este de calm

Şi lacul fremătând val lângă val

Acolo sus e pace şi mângâiere

Aici jos lacrimi, dor şi durere.

Vino lângă teiul cel mare şi alb

Vino încă odată, să fugim în larg”

Astfel vorbea copila cu ochii în lacrimi

Cu pumnii încleştaţi

Asta e iubirea, clipe deşarte

Tinereţi pierdute, visuri furate

Asta-i iubirea o lungă aşteptare,

Plină de nevoi, plină de trădare

Ah, tu iubire cât de crudă eşti

Mulţi se cred în tine, mulţi cred în poveşti

Nimeni nu ştie, nimeni nu simte

Până în momentul în care te vor cunoaşte cu adevărat

Crudă, prea crudă de această dată

Să amăgeşti o fată

Să o laşi să simtă căldură-n jurul ei

Şi-apoi să se stingă de dor lângă tei

Aşteptă copila palidă-n tăcere

Aşteptă cu grijă, dor şi durere

Şi ochi-i se-necară de lacrimi amare

Şi vântul fremăta în teiul alb şi mare

Pe cerul fără margini, cer de opal

Domneşte o lună, o lună de cristal

În lacul albastru se odihneşte o fată

Cu ochi strălucitori şi cu faţă albă.

Dragoste de toamnă

Îmi amintesc cum ne plimbam

Pe sub castanii ruginiţi

Îmi amintesc tot ce spuneam

Şi cât eram de fericiţi

Cerul era plin de nori

Dar nouă nici că ne păsa

Şi ne treceau adânci fiori

Când aflam ce-i dragostea

Pe jos covor de frunze roş

Fâşâia pe sub picioare

Iar noi priveam munţii bătrâni

Ce se unduiau în zare

Aş vrea să stai să nu te duci

Să te întorci la mine iară

Şi să trăim ca şi atunci

Acea dragoste de toamnă.

noi druizii

shaman vacamoo

warlock thali and pala Morgan

My Vampire story part 21- Merlin

After George was transformed, we realized that Roxanne had also been transformed into a vampire while she was missing by a younger vampire named Cosme with whom she fall in love. At the begining we thought we should have a fight with him but it turned out that as a human he was very close to Mike, he could very well be one of us, so we had no point in doing it. According to the initial plan Mike should have been transformed also, but he was left for the end. He was furious. He wanted his transformation for a long time and it was always beeing delayed. I felt he would started to hate everybody, so I called Sasha but to our surprise she said to calm everybody down because she found who our enemy was and how to destroy it, so when she came back she changed Mike into one of us too to help him cure his disease which cured itself once being a vampire. Richard and Michelle were the only ones not to be changed because Michelle was preganant and we just found out, that was where she went that evening when she came after me and Ger, and Sasha didn't want to harm them.

So we all gathered as usual with Sasha, Guy and a new massive guy with long blond hair and blue eyes, she brought along with her so we asked her who he was.

"Everybody meet Merlin, well actually Leon" Sasha said laughing "Guy found him so I brought him in here to set the matter once and for all"

"Merlin? like in Merlin the wizard?" I asked

"At your service" the big fat blond blue eyed guy responded laughing.

"Shouldn't he be dead?"Gerald ask looking at him from head to toes.

"He was, but was incarnated into this guy here, and now he will help us fight our enemy, meaning he will end up with vampires everywhere and make them humans again" Sasha answered smiling happily

"A human? You changed all of us into vampires in order to be helped by a human? Are you kiding us?" Gerald asked in disbelief

"Well he knows magic, meaning he remembers it, so it's enough" Sasha answered

"A human with magic? Sasha are you crazy? we are so many vampires here and we are afraid of what is comming and you think this human will help us with magic?"Gerald was becoming mad

"Well, he has the keys to all dimensions and he can use the wheel of destiny, so yes, his help is all we need" Sasha answered

"And how exactly is he going to help?" George asked

"By reseting the wheel of destiny, of course and transform everybody back into humans" the boy answered

"Reseting the wheel of destinity and how exactly are you going to that?"Roxanne asked

"By using male and female energy in order to reset it, and the right codes in order to open the dimensions" the guy explained

"Who is the famale energy? Sasha?"Mike asked

Merlin started to laugh:"No, she is not my female energy, Everybody meet Ada"

And there she was in her splendor, a beautiful woman with black long hair and black eyes.

"Ada? Wow she is beautiful" George exclaimed gazing at her. Sasha pinched him to stop.

"Of course she is a female and a nice one too. What did you think that she might be ugly? Neh, she's my twin flame"the guy laughed "everything has a balance male or female, so do I, but of course you all know that already, Sasha told you the truth about twin souls" the guy explained further

"He's right you know you should stop looking at things in black or white and stop judging people"Sasha said

"Ok, enough talking" Gerald said."How are we supposed to fight them? What should we do? How many are them? 

"All you have to do is keep them occupied so they wouldn't come after me and Ada, while I go to heaven, a place that I am familiar with and Ada goes to hell since it's her speciality and we will both balance things from there and reset the wheel." the Merlin guy explained.

"Where is this wheel?Why heaven and hell?" George asked

"No need for you to know, it would just complicate things,besides we are the only ones who would know how to use it. Heaven and hell because it is of course as big as them, it's the wheel of the whole universe".

"And the magic would be?"

"A special stone that I have, that I will use together with the wheel, Now let's get the work done." And he and Ada dissapeared one to heaven, the other to hell.

What would you do if your town and home and everything that you love most, like dear ones, would be thretened by an army of unknown vampires? Would you fight or run away? Would you trust a guy that pretends to be Merlin in order to get help? We had no other option either, so we had to trust and decided to fight: for our friends Michelle and Richard, for our families, for all that stood dear to us. 

We fallowed the plan, Sasha gave her sign meaning she let our smell be easily tracked by vampires... letting the clan of vampires from the west know where we were. All of them come. All the members of the clan were there with Victor their leader... ready to kill us. All of them were preparing their teeth and strenght. But we blocked them into a dome of energy, Guy, Sasha's friend also helping us, while Merlin went to heaven and Lucy in hell and they reseted the wheel of destiny and everybody were turned back into humans without using a single drop of blood. And all the dead people were alive and well also, all humans. We felt as if we would wake up from a dream. So, it was possible after all to come to an understanding without war. Merlin the guy was right. Maybe he really was who he was, or maybe someone who just knew what to do. This was my second dream.

"Humans were meant to be humans, and they should stay like that. No human will ever be a vampire again"the big guy told us before he departed, holding Ada's hand into his and losing themselves again into one of the many dimensions out there. Humans should be humans, of course we all understood that now, humans and friends. Without us being friends nothing that happened would have been possible. If we hadn't been united and if Merlin would also not be a friend...but an enemy we wouldn't have stopped the other vampires so fast.

"Death is not what frightnes me, eternity is" I once told Sasha and she answered me: "Eternity is not a long time..." Of course an eternity without friends would have no point. Suddenly eternity seemed not such a long time to me. All that I wanted was to spend the rest of my time with my friends: Sasha who was now one of us and her twin George, Gerald, Roxanne and Cosme, Mike, Michelle and Richard who came to us after the transformation so that they wouldn't be hurt by the vampires. The story is not about transforming everybody into vampires but about transforming them into friends.

I had tears in my eyes... At the begining all that I wanted was to be acknowledged by my friends for being special without realising how special they were, now I came to the point where I have acknowledged them, by discovering each one of them who they were and what they felt, or did. 

So after the other ex-vampires left, I joined everybody in a long and refreshing embrace as all of us understood humanity in other terms and we all stepped together to a new era of maturity. 

Vampire story part 20 - Sasha's work in hospital and her words brings resolution in Gerald's heart

"I figured I might find you two in here" Sasha said breaking the silence around, Mike turned to her staring trying to see her for the first time as what she was: a vampire. "Can I have some chat with our friend?" she asked me "Wanna make him some tests.'' "Oh, I said, it's ok, please Sasha see if you can help him" then I turned to Mike and told him: "Go with her, don't be afraid, she'll help". She took Mike to the hospital to her lab and took blood samples from him.She also called for Ger she said she needed the two of them to clarify things. Sasha didn't like friends fighting.
"This should do" Sasha said pulling the syringe from Mike''s arm. Mike tried not to yell.
"It's ok if it hurts you, it means you are alive you know?" she tried to comfort him with her sense of humor. "You people are so funny, when something hurts you, you all cry like babies instead of realizing how precious life is while you have it, we (the vampires) don't feel the pain", "here" she said showing Mike another syringe "Pull it into my arm, come on... I'm not like you" Mike looked at her for a while, but as Gerald showed him his teeth, then he grabbed the syringe curioussly and pulled it into Sasha's arm. Sasha started to laugh "Now pull it out", he listened her orders and pulled the syringe, blood started to fall from Sasha's hand but in few moments her arm was dry and no tracks of syringe on it. "See? no harm, we don't feel the pain"
"How perfect it must be, how marvellous" Miked exclaimed "At the begining, in the first years I admit it was cool, but then when you see all those people dying and suffering and you yourself not... it's like you'd start to question your own existence, you start to ask yourself if you are real" "And then you kill people and drink their blood" "I drink synthetic blood and no I don't kill people I treat them, the more I cure the more I feel alive and having a sense of my prolongued existence. It's my own way of saying thanks for what I am" "This is amazing" Mike exclaimed. Gerald seemed to also understand her. "You know Mike don't be afriad of blood, blood doesn't hurt you it cures you; this man here is a banker, he's in the hospital for two years, he has a wife and three children but he is going to die from cancer in a few months, do you see him crying? No he's sending emails to his family, this other woman has leucemia but she is not down, she does charitable work for other people who suffers from the same sickness as hers till her death comes "Sasha started to show Mike and Ger the hospital.
"Why don't you save her and kill her, it wouldn't hurt her" "And risk not having who to help the sick ones? No, her mission in this world is to save a few lifes, she must fullfill her mission here before dying like everyone else does.Every person has his own mission in life."
"We have a mission?" "Yes, even you have one" "What's mine?" "Protect your loved ones even if it's hard for you to believe this. This goes out to you too Gerald. I can feel that you still hate Jullie, but I'm the one who transformed Jullie in the first place." Gerald's face became even whiter. "You should forgive her you know. It's not her fault. I'm just too ambitious.You see... having known the guy that sees through all dimenssions, I had always suspected we could overcame this. So it didn't bother me to gather a few friends to protect me till time was right to end, but your hatred towards her is pointless. The outcome would be the same, me transforming her in order to get into your group of friends."
"Why our group, why us of all the people in the world" Gerald demanded to know
"Quite so, why us" Mike asked
"Because of George."
"George?" Mike wanted to know why
"Yes, you see he is my twin soul, and I had always had a hunch, but I had to confirm it. I had to find my twin soul, so now I have found him. It's all about twin souls.And Jullie is yours Ger"
I started to feel Ger's hatred melting and him becoming more and more relaxed by my presence after hearing Sasha's words. Also seeing Sahsa working in the hospital and realizing she had helped so many people over the many decades she had lived, made him stop hating her too.
He gave me a look as if he would apologize to me and I knew it would be the only thing I'll get. So feeling no hatred in him would be enough for me. This way we might have a chance, not now but maybe one day when it would all come to an end and we would have some peace for us.
"When time comes, you'll be one of us, but only then no sooner." "Why?" he was like a baby crying repeating the same question over and over again:why was he not transformed "cos these are the laws and you must obey, I can't play with your destiny and you can't play either, I learned this long time ago, I tried to transform a man into a vampire out of the desire to have a friend, but the time haddn't come yet for him so he died, he never returned from the grave to be one of us, so I ended up desperate and upsed for killing a man, that moment I decided I would not kill again, and the synthetic blood occured to me, he was my first and only victim. No man should ever be transformed into a vampire or killed by one for his blood and that's it and that's what our mission is to stop this. And when time comes we will all gather and fight our enemy and change everybody back." For the first time Gerald seemed to agree with her.

Vampire story part 19 - Mike

Sasha's beatiful mantion waited for us, the living room full of light wellcomed the new visitor. It was like a mother who used to wait for her children to come home save and happy. It was our own little place where us, the vampires could relax and feel free from the world outside. Here we had no need to pretend we were humans, here we could be just ourselves with goods and bads.
"Make yourself home Mike" Ger smiled putting Mike down. Mike felt dizzy. The sudden flight took him by surprise, did not have time to breathe enough air. He could barely breathe. It took him a while to recover. Ger took us to the kitchen and grabbed a pack of synthetic blood from the fridge. "Want some?" he asked Mike.
"I'm not one of you...yet" Mike answered.
"No, but you will be since this is what you want, better get used to the idea, here drink it".
"Ger, please" I tried to calm him down.
"No, no, the man wants to be a vampire? let him see what a vampire does, how one lives, what one eats , espeacilly this, drink it,"
Mike took the blood bag and stared at it, trying to figure what he should do, he was clueless.
"What?... don't you want to be transformed? right now? If you do..., drink it"
Mike stared at the bag again trying to convince himself to drink the blood, but the will would not come out.
"Man, you'll need blood in exces to survive, drink the fucking blood now and I'll transform you"
But he couldn't. He tried to approach the bag full of blood to his mouth, but the moment he did it, he felt on his knees, leaving the bag to fell on the ground, feeling sick.Gerald put his teeth on his neck as Mike was leaning on the floor, "You want it? Feel my teeth on your neck? See the blood in front of you? Cos that's what you'll become when I finish with you" and he tried to pull his teeth in Mike's neck and bite and than I screamed and took the first chair that crossed my way and throw it into Ger, and when he turned to look what's happening I grabbed Mike. I wanted to fly or fight depending on what Ger wanted me to do, but Ger just stood on the floor laughing like an idiot. I was about to hit him, or even kill if necesary to protect Mike, but Ger stood up and instead of hiting me back he kissed my chick like a friend would wellcome an old one and continued to laugh. When he stopped laughing he grabbed his teeth in the bag and drank the whole blood. Mike was livid. I heard Ger in my mind whispering:"Calm down, I just wanted to show him, what it's like to become one of us, I knew he woudn't drink the blood".
"Boy I'm hungry, want more" he brought another bag from the fridge and drank until he was full.
Mike was really sick, he was about to vomit, I tried to help him and let him lean his head on my shoulder, not to faint on the ground. It took him a while to be able to talk again.
"And I haven't showed you a real hunting yet" Ger laughed"and you want to become a vampire, but you're afraid of blood" he died laughing.
Mike was furios.
"Mike, I'm sorry" I whispered.
"It's ok, I didn't think I would not stand the blood" he whispered too.
"No need to talk out loud, I can read minds you know" Ger said.
Mike looked at him with envy, "Yea, you can envy me for this, I know what your dear Jullie thinks right now and you'd give all the money in the world to know it too, but then again I know what you think too and she doesn't"I was struck. He was the only one of us who could read the minds of others and he was the only one who could use it into his advantage, but if he knew something important about Mike and about Mike thoughts he wouldn't tell me. He simply read Mike, he knew Mike was afraid of blood from the begining, he made up the whole circus just to calm Mike's fury by showing him the blood.
"You see Mike, us the vampires have all the power in the world, we can read minds, or see the future like our Sasha does, but we don't have one thing:our body is not like yours anymore, we're not made of flesh and blood anymore, we're just made of blood, we live because of the blood, we breathe because of it, we do it all because of it, while you do it because of the flesh. Got it? Blood and flesh, that's the difference.No man should be transformed into a vampire ever. It's just too much for a human being to understand the magnitude of it and the responsability. It's not just the game of a stupid young gang, if you are not carefull you cand end the whole humanity in a second like an atomic bomb. You wouldn't want that... The loneliness would come and then the hunger and madness..."
Mike looked at Ger with the figure of someone that was struck by litghtning, and then he looked at me, with tears about to fall from his eyes. I saw Ger standing, he was not laughing anymore.
"Now, I think I'll let the two of you have some chat, call me if anything" and he materialized in the air.
"Oh, Mike".
"All that miserable life that I lived, all that sufrance, all those times I was ill and could not enjoy the real life of happy people, I dreamed that one day, it would change... I thought this could be an alternative...But now..., and you lied Jullie, you lied to me. It's all a big lie..."
"Mike, I'm sorry, you know my life before I was a vampire, you know how sad I was, and how unhappy I was, having no one to love me...it did change me, it's not as bad as Ger showed you, it's just the way he thinks... he's unhappy about it, and I know somewhere inside his heart... he hates me for doing this to him, but I only tried to save him. It was the only way."
"It was you?...You transformed Gerald?".
"Yes, I saved him, it was the only way to help him live".
"You saved Ger, a boy you just met a year ago, and you didn't transformed me? Your best friend? You saved him? Not me? You knew my sufrance and yet you saved him?".
"Mike you really don't understand, he was about to die, I can't transform you if your life is not in danger, this would mean death to us, to me, to Sasha".
"What do I care about Sasha, Jullie I'm dying for God's sake, I got less than two years to live".
It was like a thunder hit me. I would have rather be struck by one.
"No, it's not possible, you'll be allright, you'll see."
"No, Jullie I made my treatment, and my analysis, I'm not well, I haven't said anything not scare the others, not to hurt Roxanne, but I'm not..."
"No..." now it was me the one who would want to cry, never cried before since the day I've become a vampire so I had no clue what a vampire cry was like. There are tears of blood. They came down slowly while I was holding Mike's hand into mine...
"Oh my god" Mike cried"Stop, for god's sake stop".
"I'm sorry".
"No, I am, I had no ideea" He tried to wipe my tears but they wouldn't stop.
"Please stop Jullie, don't cry anymore, I'll be allright if it makes you stop crying, I lied, I just wanted some attention, that's all."
"You're a bad liar" I said,"I know you try to stop me crying, it's allright I'll stop, just let them finish" I turned my face and tried to stop crying and the few moments of silence between us brought a little peace among us.

Vampire story part 18 - Mike's regret he is not a vampire

We let George with Sasha and hurried to check an eye on the others. Sasha told me later that enraged she has confessed everything to George when he woke up and being a vampire and seeing everything George as this was his gift as a vampire to see karma, understood she was speaking the truth and he accepted her, telling her he has also waited for her all his life. His gift as a vampire was to recognize twin souls and karma and they were one team, Richard and Michelle being another, Ger and I another one,Roxanne with her twin and Mike had his, but the girl would appear a few years later.
I gave some phone calls, managed to track Roxanne and we established a meeting with the whole gang at Roxanne,'s house. I had no idea what where we supposed to explain to everybody again. I was afraid of the moment.
So there we were at the little tea table Roxanne kept in her room: Richard, Michelle, Michael, Roxanne, Gerald and I playing rummy and talking foolish things like nothing would have ever happened.
"Chips anybody?" Roxanne asked. She seemed white and cold like a vampire...
"I'll have some, thanks" I answered, food provided no nutritions to me, though vampires could eat it for the sake of the taste. I had to pretend I was human though.I liked chips in the past, so now I had to keep up with it.
"I'll pass, I'm saving for some pizza" Gerald knew how to play his part too.
"So Jullie, where did you say you stayed in Bulgaria?" Michelle asked
"I didn't actually, at Varna in Bulgaria" it was the lie that Sasha asked me to say
"Where is that?".
"It is is the largest city and seaside resort on the Bulgarian Black Sea Coast" I did my research on the internet. Ger kept himself from not laughing out loud when he heard my thought.
"Shut up" I whispered to him.
"What? I haven't said anything" he answer but he looked like he would start laughing at any moment
"Nevermind the guy, show me on the internet" Michelle cried.
"Here I said", and sat at Roxanne's computer and looked for photos and explanations about the town in order to serve them to Michelle. At one moment I turned and looked for Michel to show me something at the computer, he was good with computers. But, ... he wasn't there.
"Where's Mike?" I asked insecure,
"He went outside to take some air" Richard told me,
I raised and went outside. Michell was on the porch looking far away. I thought he was looking at the stars but he was looking way beyond them. And then I felt... sorrow, pain, anger, disappointment... torturing him.
"Michell? Can you help me with some stuff back there? I'm stuck and Richard has no idea about it".
"Get lost" he burst out of a sudden.
"Michell?It's me Jullie, you're friend?"
"You're not my friend, not the one I used to know" he cried in a low voice.
"Michell come on, it's me Jullie what's the matter with you?".
"You're not Jullie, you just use her body, but you're not her".
"Michell please stop talking nonsense it's me, Jullie, kid,... u used to call me like that."
"Yes, I did" he remembered "I used to call her that way, I'm sorry I lost her."
"You didn't lost me fool, I'm right here talking to you."
"And I really don't know what you are doing, you're waisting your time. Or perhaps you want to try your little new fangs on my neck, don't you?"
I got myself lost...
"Michell what are you talking about?" he knew, he knew something he suspected it probably. I had no idea how come he got to suspect something"It's stupid"
"Is it?You think I bite all this cheep crap you are selling to us now? No, Jullie or what your name is...I'm not so stupid like the others, I know your game."
"What game? there's no game..."
"Is it?No game? than how do you call all this... lie you're selling us?"
"I'm not selling anything" "I'm..." and then I realized that if he could scream the name out loud and if he would recognize me as a vampire I could tell him the whole truth. "Scream it Michell, scream the name, say what I am" I yelled at him. He froze for a moment and then he yelled it back:"Vampire, that's what you are, Vamp..." I stepped to him and embraced him... happy... finally.
"You did it, you said the name, Now I am free to talk to you about it."
"Ah, you're idiot code. I forgot about it" he whispered.
"We cannot tell what we are, except a person recognizes us and calls us by our name, than and only than a vampire is free to tell the truth, Michell I'm so glad you said it. I'm sorry, I did not intended to lie, but there was no other way."
"So this it how you call it now, no other way."
"It's not, Michell I could not tell you anything, breaking the code means death. To me and to those who know the secret."
"I would have rather died knowing the truth than being lied."
"You don't know what you say, you don't understand."
"Is he making trouble to you?" Gerald asked, he was there behind me.
"How can Mike make me trouble, when Mike always saved me?" even now he saved me, he set me free from having to lie him. But than... he and Gerald were never friends actually, Ger was Richard's friend and Michel was mine and Roxanne's but they have never been real friends. I frowned.
"You don't scare me leech"Mike burst."So you're one of them too, ha? I was sure of it, so damn sure"
"What did you called me?" Gerald was amazed " "I thought he was about to kill Mike, so I flew in front of him protecting him "Stay away Ger he just called us by our name, he's just furious on me for having lied.... that's all".
"You call me leech? No one ever called me like that" Gerald screamed.
"That's what you are a vampire, and don't you dare sit in front of me Jullie, I'm not afraid of him, Bite me, Kill me if you want,maybe I die and you miss something and transform me into one too."
"Ah..." Gerald started to laugh."Didn't your protector here told you what being a vampire means?"
"Ger, please I haven't even explained him anything ... please let me explain him... that"
"Explain?Explain what? that you lied, that you all lied, Oh, please now you're gonna come and sell me crap 'bout crocodile tears and stuff..." Mike started to laugh.
"You gotta teach him some manners" Gerald concluded."She's trying to tell you the truth you know, you think we're happy with it? Maybe she is, I'm not, you don't know what this whole thing means, you think you know everything about it, truth is you have no idea what is like to hide or to leave in guilt, you wouldn't wanna be a vampire more than I hate it"."And just for the record we don't feed on people but if you keep on pissing me off or make trouble to her I might break the line and feed on your neck."
"I wanna be one of you" Mike continued "I demand you to bite me"
"The man wants to know how the job is done, well let's show him" and he grabbed Michell by his hands and flew with him. I followed them in despair. What did Ger wanted from my friend. They weren't friends but they haven't hated each other either, why the hell was Ger acting like that? This was the first dream the bad one, where Mike would blame me.
To my surprise he took Mike... home.